Why do narcissists hurt the ones they love?

They lack “whole object relations” and “object constancy.”
One of the main reasons that people abuse others whom they profess to love is that they lack whole object relations and object constancy.


Why do narcissists hurt people they love?

"Narcissists are primed to be abusive because they're so hypersensitive, and they don't have empathy, and they don't have object constancy," Greenberg said. "So they are primed to take offence and be abusive and not really understand... It's a lot of work for the non-narcissistic mate."

Why are narcissists so cruel?

It's normal to fight with your significant other, but narcissists can be incredibly cruel and threatening in heated situations. This is because they cannot see you as somebody they love, and someone who has angered them at the same time.


Why do narcs want to destroy you?

They want to see how much they can destroy you

Rather, they just don't want to see other people happy. They don't want to put the work into maintaining everything themselves, which is why they don't stick around once they've destroyed their target's life.

Do narcissists mean to hurt their partners?

The answer is more complicated than a simple “yes” or “no.” The short answer is that sometimes they did mean to hurt you and sometimes they were so focused on their own needs and feelings that they did not take the time to think about how you might be affected by their actions.


WHY DO NARCISSISTS HURT THE ONES THEY LOVE? #narcissism



What a narcissist does at the end of a relationship?

At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.

How does a narcissist react when they can't control you?

Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.

How a narcissist ruins your life?

Narcissists use manipulation and control to destroy the lives of many of the people around them. They will lie, gaslight, and otherwise emotionally abuse you to get their needs met. They have no empathy or compassion, and therefore, they are unable to meet your emotional needs.

Does a narcissist ever let go of a victim?

Narcissists tire of their victims when they've exhausted their supply of care, money, or whatever else they were after. As quickly as they entered your life, they leave it, which can leave the victim incredibly confused, broken, and lost.


How do you make a narcissist miserable?

14 Ways to Make a Narcissist Miserable:
  1. Lack of Attention.
  2. Doing something they don't like.
  3. Losing.
  4. Logic and Facts.
  5. Boundaries.
  6. Critical Thinking.
  7. Spontaneous Behavior.
  8. Someone else's Success.


What to do when a narcissist is mad at you?

Here are 10 tips for when you're faced with narcissistic rage:
  1. Physically Distance Yourself. ...
  2. Establish Your Boundaries. ...
  3. Stay Calm. ...
  4. Don't Overreact to the Narcissist's Rage. ...
  5. Empathize With the Narcissist & Validate Their Viewpoint. ...
  6. Don't Raise Your Voice. ...
  7. Take a Break. ...
  8. Remember This Is Not About You.


Why do narcissist play the victim?

Self-pity makes a narcissist feel like a hero.

They have a grandiose sense of self and very often can't look beyond themselves. But this form of self-esteem is not authentic. So, feeling self-pity and playing the victim acts as a substitute for that lack of authentic self-worth.

How do you stop a narcissist from hurting you?

Take these steps to handle a narcissist:
  1. Educateyourself. Find out more about the disorder. It can help you understand the narcissist's strengths and weaknesses and learn how to handle them better. ...
  2. Create boundaries. Be clear about your boundaries. ...
  3. Speak up for yourself. When you need something, be clear and concise.


What kind of woman do narcissists like?

In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.

How do you make a narcissist regret losing you?

How to Make a Narcissist Regret Losing You
  1. Cut off all contact with the person.
  2. Be unattainable and focus on your well-being.
  3. Spend time with your support network.
  4. Realize that people with NPD can't feel regret.
  5. Resist the urge to get revenge.
  6. Give yourself a chance to grieve the relationship.


Can a narcissist genuinely care about someone?

They genuinely care about and like helping others. Narcissists, on the other hand, dont have that motivation since they severely lack empathy. Yet, by being or appearing to be helping and caring, a narcissist can get others to thank them and cheer them on for being such a nice person.

Do narcissists care if you move on?

#5 The Narcissist Will Attack Your New Partner

Because you've moved on to someone new, your new partner serves as a constant reminder that they were not good enough for you, so they'll launch an attack against them. They'll start spreading false truths about your new lover and slandering their name on every corner.


What does no contact do to a narcissist?

If we ignore them again by saying “no” or going “no contact” with them, narcissists might go into a complete rage. This rage is a coping mechanism in order for them to deal with us keeping our distance from them or saying “no” to them. A rejection of narcissists means that we think they are not perfect.

What does cutting off all contact with a narcissist do to them?

Breaking up with a narcissist is likely to be a draining experience. Either they won't let you go without a fight, or they will discard you without looking back. Both experiences are extremely hurtful.

When the narcissist knows you have figured him out?

2. They exude manipulative behaviors. When a narcissist is exposed or when the narcissist knows you have figured him out, they will never admit the truth even if it is staring them in the face. A narcissist will lay several false accusations and try to make him right.

How does a narcissist try to control you?

Narcissists systematically minimize anything that makes them look or feel bad. They make excuses for their bad behavior by blaming others. They may deny outright that they have done anything destructive. Narcissists know that minimizing and stonewalling is hard for others to fight.


How do you know if a narcissist is finished with you?

How to Know if a Narcissist Is Finished with You
  • They show no emotion.
  • They criticize you constantly.
  • They blame you for everything.
  • They're always irritated or angry.
  • They pick fights over trivial things.
  • They take advantage of you.
  • They withhold physical affection.
  • They accuse you of cheating.


What do narcissists do to their partners?

Narcissists view partners as trophies under their power and may expect partners to show deference and adoring behavior throughout the relationship. Manipulation of a partner is emotional abuse, and narcissists resort to some pretty low behaviors if they feel that they are losing their hold on a partner.

What happens when you stop giving a narcissist attention?

If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.

What weird things do narcissists do?

One of the weird things narcissists do involves destroying your happiness and relaxing moments. They will purposefully do things to prevent you from doing something as simple as sleep. Even if you had a long day or are sick, a narcissist may start a fight while you are trying to sleep.
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